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Ethan Ancell, Staff Writer
All you Herriman High students have probably been walking around and noticing some incredibly cringy trends on people trying to keep up with the latest fashion. Secretly, I'm sure all of you hate these, so let's finally uncover some of the worst things in Herriman's fashion world.
Now I'm not exactly sure who started this trend, but I'm sure that whoever did intended them to not be obviously fake. Nowadays it almost makes me die inside at the sight of someone sporting some five pound blue sparkly piece-of-plastic vaguely representing an eyelash.
This is probably going to be the most controversial trend listed in this article. Love them or hate them, you look like a household pet. Almost every single eight year old girl is starting to want to get one, and it's just slightly ridiculous. If you are like a normal person, just save yourself from cutting off your airway and wear your neck around the natural and beautiful way.
Okay… now why is this a thing? The other day, I kid you not, I spotted a kid sporting a backless shirt. After some research, I discovered this is a new trend. No one wants to see your unsightly bacne, so just wear a normal shirt. We as a population of humans will thank you forever if you revert back to the regular shirt. And for the love of all that is holy, do not let frontless shirts become a thing.
Insanely detailed thin eyebrows
There's a fine line between having eyebrow and having no eyebrows, and that aforementioned fine line is the trendy thin detailed eyebrows attained after hours upon hours of plucking and waxing. Truth is, if you have to pull out a university grade microscope to be able to see your thin strip of hair going across, you probably are taking things too far. Hardly any guys will actually find this trend attractive, save your plucking for the next season of Jersey Shore.
This is one of those “trends” that never really seems to go away. It’s been around forever, yet for some reason a few people still think it is a good idea. To anyone who is still doing this, please, on behalf of all people who have any common sense, we beg you to use a belt. They cost something like ten bucks at Walmart. If you find your trousers uncontrollably shifting, call me up and I’ll drive you to the belt store and I’ll get you a quality waistband that will last you well into your sixties.
If you ever have moved outside of your cave, you’ve seen someone strutting around (probably with sagged pants) and puffing out a Hiroshima sized cloud out of their face, paired with the latest technologically advanced pipe released. It’s not cool, you’re just making it incredibly difficult for everyone else to have a normal conversation with you because you have four kilotons of toxic nuclear waste chemicals inhabiting the air between you guys.
Editor's Note: This article is satire.